Thursday, 13 August 2015

The Volcano

I now have a volcano in my garden.
Well, it looks like one. My friend has given me a lot of volcanic rocks as she is clearing her boundary for a new fence so I decided they would look good as mulch for the magnolia so the chickens wouldn't dig it all up. I had bark mulch there which went over the planting mound but every time the chickens somehow got out...(it was NOT me) they went scratching there and made an awful mess that made me and Dad mad. Actually it made Dad madder and he was chucking half formed spring bulbs right and left as they had dug them all up and scattered bark mulch all over his nice lawn.

Don't blame me! It was the chickens!
Mary and Martha just ignored us as my Dad cursed under his breath. I thought he was going to throw tulip bulbs at me. I put them in the beds instead and buried them under more soil.

Well thank God my friend had these rocks as now the chickens cannot dig volcanic rocks all over the lawn. They are pretty big and too heavy for a chicken to move.

After I had made my nice mound I decided that it would be good for moss and lichens to grow on these rocks so I mixed half a tub of yoghurt with water and splashed it all over the rocks. It did look like it had erupted. Then I took some lichens and moss from the acer tree and fixed them to start spreading. I had learned this trick of using yoghurt from the people that made Hobbiton, to make their fences look aged. Or was it Alan Titchmarsh?

Anyway I hope they latch on, and then, I did drop in at Kings on my way home from teaching and found a cotula..which is a native ground cover that will grow under trees and in rockeries, to green the crevices. It looks a bit bare at the moment just waiting for plants to colonise the rock. I don't know if I had any tulips or freesias still left that the chickens did not dig up, well, they will have to find their way through the cracks. Cotula has tiny little yellow flowers so it MAY clash with Cleopatra Magnolia's purple buds but I don't think they flower at the same time.

Anyway its funny that Iraena's memorial tree has rocks on it as her last name was Asher. Which is kind of volcanic. Mt Asher I will call it.
My Dad has already got one named after him, Mt Albert.

You won't find my name on earth as it actually means 'heavenly' or 'moon' although I suppose I could have moonflowers, and if I did visit Houston, maybe snag some moon rocks from the NASA space station there. But that is not likely.

I used up all the rocks so there's no chance of me making stonehenge with them. But that's ok. Maybe another time. Now. Where can I find some Terracotta Warriors? Wouldn't they look suitably chinese in my garden. I don't know what the fashion is for gnomes, geckos, and decapitated Buddha heads. But I'm thinking..they look kind of cool. Although to be New Zealand style, they would have to make ones of Xena, Warrior Princess fighting the taniwha.
Maybe I should write to Lucy Lawless.

Dear Ms Lawless,
Please can I make a likeness of your character for my garden. You could earn pots of money from being copied and moulded into garden sculpture. All the proceeds can go towards carbon credits and planting more forests. I know you are into the whole eco-warrior thing.
From...a green thumbed fan.