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Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Going to the garden to eat worms...

I vaguely recall a childhood rhyme that started with 'Nobody likes me, everybody hates me' and ended in a sulk when the with the words..'I'm going to the garden to eat worms'. I'd like to update or amend that a little to present day child/adult 'woe is me, I'm a lone gardener' to 'I'm going to the garden to feed the worms'.

Because I now have the perfect worm bin - our old toilet, which with one or two pots inside the basin can be transformed into a worm farm extraordinaire...once I find my worms.
If I buy them from Mitre 10, which you can, they come in a box, they cost about $30 for a thousand or so. I don't know how they count them but surely they must do at the worm factory to make sure customers aren't disappointed to stop people saying I bought this box and there were only 999.
Or maybe it goes by weight. I have bought worms before and put them in my compost bin and they escaped into the garden so who knows where they live now. I don't think its a good idea to go hunting for them again and trying to convince them to live in a new fangled toilet building, which is why I am going the import route and getting new migrant worker worms in.

Come live in my worm hotel! I will entice them with shredded old penpal letters and delicious chinese food scraps that Martha won't eat. Fed and housed, they can then get on with the job of providing vermicast - worm tea which is rich liquid fertiliser for my garden. Who says I cannot be the CEO of my very own worm tea factory?

Mum said I might want to grow plants in the old toilet but I will have to tell her of my other plans, besides, no plants want the indignity of having an old toilet bowl for their container. Even if from very far away and you are not wearing your glasses it could pass off as a classical urn.

As for our new toilet well you'll be pleased to know if you do ever come to visit, that we have got a new one that flushes normally, doesn't leak and you won't have to go in a bucket. It is connected up to the wonderful Auckland sewage system, which we pay rates for. We are not hippies!