Monday, 23 July 2018

The bad tempered gardener

Task done -

Thinned Feijoas.
Ripped out Licorice Plant.
Planted avocados.
Broccolis eaten by the chicken - noted, must replace with chicken proof veges.
Planted hippeastrum bulb (x 1)
Planted hellebores (x2)
Planted punnet primula and polyanthus (x 12)

Now can put my feet up, and rest. I found this curious book at the library called 'The Bad Tempered Gardener' by Anne Wareham, who has a garden in Wales called 'Veddw' but hates gardening. I knew it had to be a riposte to Christopher Lloyd's 'The well-tempered garden' because he was so genial and in love with plants and here's his exact opposite, someone who genuinely hates gardening because its so much work, but thinks she's entitled to one all the same. I call her a rich tosser who would probably employ someone else to do all the work for her while she can play around with her wavy cut hedges and reflecting pool. If you want to call yourself a designer and make a garden but refuse to do the work yourself well sorry but I don't have any illusions about that, just call yourself a garden owner instead.

She has a website called 'thinkinGardens'' and wants people to be more artful about gardens, like making sure they conform to her 'golden rectangle' or to be about something other than plants, or gardeners, which is why she put a TV in one of them. Just to be subversive I guess.
There's a whole manifesto on it.

I don't know if I subscribe. My brain might explode. What, my garden has to be a work of art as well as contain plants? I had no idea. I'm just a gardener!  Then why is it landscape architects design gardens  end up getting a planting company to plant all their plants in a row. Um, cos they have no idea how to actually garden? They have more money than sense? They think gardening is like farming? They went to the nursery and just bought everything that was on sale and had to fill up the ground with something?

Methinks she doth protest too much, and manages to insult working gardeners everywhere. And that makes me wonder if she's just stirring and wanting me to answer back, because she's lonely and wants a debate with someone.

Ms Wareham, I will say to you, you are barking up the wrong tree. If you want to pay $40 and stare at giant pink snails or giant plastic dandelions surrounded by mondo grass at the Sculptereum then go there, as it provokes thinking about stuff like 'I wonder how much this cost to make?' or 'at least those giant pink snails aren't real' and 'I can find dandelions in my own garden, real ones'  but don't call that a garden.

I don't know what planet she's from, but hasn't she ever driven past a roundabout bedding display?? You want concepts, and creative expression? Try planting a thousand plants in the shape of a butterfly or clipping a buxus hedge into the Lord's prayer. Already been done.