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Thursday, 5 July 2018

Mr Garden

Mr Garden has been so nitpicky lately that I just want to throw a custard pie at him, but it would be a waste of a custard pie. I don't want to waste energy trying to think of snappy comebacks to all the constant criticisms he's been hurling my way, but I just want to say, so what,  yes I'm a not-perfect, MESSY gardener, tell me something I don't know. It doesn't bother me so much, but when he's being deliberately rude to the oldies and mocking me in front of them, I just don't think I can sit there and continue to take it.

They all sit there wondering why I am even working for him, to be honest. Your boss is MEAN they say. I could just do my own garden. Since he's hardly ever there, and spents half the time on the phone taking calls and the rest of the time talking a blue streak giving me so many instructions I can hardly keep up, then wondering in amazement that I can muck up the list of things he's given me to do in 20 minutes. Then takes all the credit for doing nothing but bossing me around.

When he's there breathing down my neck he accuses me of being deaf, but then tells me to speak up as he can't hear me, to ask questions before I even know what to ask, and not to start anything if I can't do it perfectly. I am starting to think maybe its not just Type A but truly OCD personality disorder.. and how do I isolate, minimise or eliminate this hazard.

Eliminate. hmm I could just leave the job. Since I don't do the hiring and firing, that would be the only option.
Minimise. Work with another team? At least would be out of earshot and constant destructive criticism.
Isolate. Perhaps my selective hearing works, while I hum my happy songs in my head, and he's swearing at everyone who does not drive or garden as perfect as he does. I've never known anyone who can get so angry and worked up at others for being, well, human.

Mr Gardener needs to basically CHILL out, although it seems he's actually taken up yoga. I demonstrated the tree pose to him one day and I think he was a bit chagrined that I could just easily do it while he was pacing the floor thinking 'time is money'. At least I know where the heart defibrillator is at the work site, but I'm thinking I need to convince him to install some garden hammocks amongst the palm trees.