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Friday, 12 January 2018

Dizzy Lizzies and sizzling sausages

One of the ladies at the retirement village calls 'Busy Lizzies' 'Dizzy Lizzies' which I find quite amusing. I don't know if she thinks that is what they are called or whether she invented a new name for them. Names for plants are easily mixed up. For example my workmate always confuses lobelia with libertia, and ajuga with gaura. I remember being told off by one of the Bunnings sales assistants that I didn't know the latin name for Snow-in-Summer. Oh you mean Cerastium?

Even my boss said after giving me a long list of tasks to do that I could mess around with pots after you planted the ageratums. What ageratums, we don't have those. I thought we were planting alyssum! (He doesn't like to be corrected).

Some people are exceptionally well versed in latin names, especially the Oratia Native Plant Nursery man. He knew the latin name of each and every native plant and it like were were was talking another language. Or an encyclopaedia.  Every time I would say a common name, he would counter with the latin. Spleenwort. Asplenium obfastatum. Kowhai. Sophora tetraperta. Kauri. Agathis Australis. Nikau. Rhopalstylis Sapida. Cabbage Tree. Cordyline. Flax. Phormium.
  I was walking by all his plants when I saw a groundcover. Its that violet? He said yes, that's a native violet. But it's white, not violet. He said yes well they still call it a violet even though it's not violet.

I am considering having latin names for everything. So instead of a calling a spade a spade I will call it a pala nutrum. We are not going to have a sausage sizzle we are going to have a farciminis sizzle.
And nobody is going to be confused how anyone says tomato or tomahto because I will call it a solanum lycopersecum. Anyone who asks for tomato sauce will immediately be corrected. Oh you mean solanum lycopersicum sauce?

If this catches on Daffodil day will be renamed Narcissus Day. Instead of poppies for Anzac day we will be wearing papaver.
We won't call weeds just weeds anymore we need to be specific and call them by their real names like taraxacum officinale and cannabis sativa.

By the way if anyone is reading this today the Woodside Gardeners are  having a farciminis sizzle on at the Lincoln Road Mitre 10. If you are hungry will be selling them for $2. You get bonus extra sauce if you can give me the latin name. We will start at 10 and catch the lunch shoppers crowd. Don't be impatien or will start calling you a 'dizzy lizzy'.