Sunday, 24 February 2019

Garden Planet 104.6 FM

Hooray! Herb lady Karyn joins me in our totally professionally amateur radio broadcast on Planet FM this week broadcasting Wednesdays @2:45pm and potentially being archived forever online where we make gardening blunders alongside with you.

Please don't call me expert...because my mum doesn't think so and asks if I am really a gardener. If one plant dies it's all my fault. I can always call in the experts though, but the experts obviously don't really have the time to make radio...or garden with the rest of us hoi pilloi so you may be stuck with me for the time being.

What to do about grapefruit bugs?? I don't know I don't have a grapefruit in my own garden but if you don't eat the grapefruits it may be the bugs will get to them first.  Tip harvest the grapefruits don't just leave them there to get eaten. I had been thinking about this. Since I'm not an ambassador for Yates or Monsanto or any evil agricultural corporation, I don't have to endorse any branded weedkiller or pesticide that can potentially kill Kauri trees.  I can just say well you know what, you totally are lacking a balanced ecosystem in your garden if everything's being devastated by bugs. You need to grow beneficial companion plants that will attract bugs away from your grapefruits and set up hotels for your predatory bugs that will eat the bad bugs, like spiders or wasps. Not many people are aware that spiders eat flies as do wasps bad bugs as everyones concentrating on killing every insect that ever lived. No wonder you overrun with plagues of bugs. Or maybe you don't have enough birds in your garden that eat the bugs. Grow some more trees and give them homes so that they can eat the bugs.  Perhaps you've totally neglected to add a chicken to your garden. No wonder you spending a fortune on fertiliser and store brought eggs when for one chicken you may get these for free, as well as less the cost of an insinkerator to eat all your kitchen scraps.

Ah the wisdom of the ages. When did I become such a garden sage. Well its like when people ask me how do I stay so thin. I mean, apparently people ask me this silly question and think its because I starve myself, am on a diet, or have some strange high metabolism. And I don't really want to tell them that huh I was born this way its not like I deliberately made myself this way. Possibly common sense may tell them that I eat a lot of chinese food which is delicious and never worry about getting fat in the way that people that don't eat chinese food seem to.  In fact, within my chinese world I have a dozen aunties that tell me to eat MORE although it does seem I just eat the same amounts as everyone else. A constant source of frustration to my mother. I can only conclude I must have been born in the unlucky barren period where the moonlight and sunlight did not reach me and thus grew up skinny and spindly from lack of vitamin D while my bones were being formed.  The miracle is that I'm still alive!

And perhaps this is why I'm outside gardening all the time and even mowed lawns for 18 months in an attempt to get fat,  building muscles and eating three meat pies a week. Yes.  Instead of wasting away in a windowless building putting files and books in order.

Anyway for all your gardening questions answered, even if they are completely silly (they will get a silly answer) email us at

Look forward to hearing from you.