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Friday, 16 February 2018

The Sculptureum

One of the books I requested from the library which needs a suitcase to carry it in is called 'The Gardener's Garden' (as opposed to...The Engineer's Garden? Where old car bombs go to die...) and it has gardens from all over the world to browse. Quite a few from New Zealand are featured although the majority are from the UK, which seems to be the Mecca of the gardening world. I suppose there's not much scope for gardening in Africa where lions are prowling about and elephants crushing your bedding. I can't pick a favourite as yet but have to say Ayrlies, even though I've only been there once, and did not take any pictures - takes your breath away.

My sister has announced she is visiting, and like the Queen of England she doesn't want to stay in any common accomodation like our own house but fancy digs up at Matakana. She is going to snub my wonderful garden for the likes of 'the Sculputureum' (that is what it is called, I did not think it was a word) and pay $39 a ticket. That is almost as much as the Flower Show.  I suggested why don't we just visit her namesake Fernglen for free? Or if we need to go up there why not stay at Omaio and see Liz Morrow's beautiful garden for $10? I don't know.

She could stay at home and see all the gardens I do for free, but then I can't compete with a sculptureum and beachfront designer baches that only foreigners can really afford :-( . So what if we don't have King beds and LED TV and a spa or a fancy restaurant. I'm sure it can't be that hard to climb on top of the garage roof and get a 360 degree view of the surrounding Huruhuru Creek and houses and partake in my gourmet barbecue fare.

I've counted the number of sculptures in my garden and wonder if I should put labels on them so they will look at least arty and installed.
1. Ceramic Pukeko
2. Brass Heron
3. Stone Tuatara
4. Brass Giraffe
5. Butterfly net sculpture complete with colourful bread tags and flashing butterfly lights
6. Copper Rooster Weather Vane
7. Marble Hippos
8. Stone and relief Cat in heart shape
9. Painted stone and relief Tui and flax
10. Stone Nurture tree
11. Giant ceramic sunflower

I have one brass sign that says 'Beware of the Cat' and the other, made of contemporary plastic, says 'No Junk Mail' and is on our very trendy wooden letterbox, that Dad has artistically painted which in ten years time will look very rustic, but not so rustic as the one underneath the deck that has rust. I could probably sell that one as an authentic piece for $1500. I mean sculptures can be anything these days as long as you put a label on it, I saw an old watershed at the Flower Show made of rusty currogated iron, and that was meant to be a cutting edge water feature and very on trend selling for $32,000.

I also have a one off piece watercolour of Socks painted by Margaret but that is inside my bedroom I mean gallery, which is also decorated with birds and other inspirational wall art and my sister is welcome to gasp in awe, take photos and put them on facebook and comment on my exclusive good taste.